“Nick, it’s time.”
This is probably one of the oldest pictures of me that I have. As I look at one-year-old Nick, I see his naivet, innocence, and freedom. However, today-Nick looks at one-year-old Nick and sometimes my heart breaks and I cry for him because I know what the following years have in store for him. Darkness, pain, abuse, betrayal, confusion, godlessness… Honestly, I want to hug one-year-old Nick so hard, and convince him that he’s gonna be alright, that he’s gonna make it through all of it. I want to be there for him and hold his hand at the most confusing and painful times to reassure him that this too will pass. I want to tell him that although he doesn’t understand it now, Christ will be with him the entire way and Christ will be faithful to him. “Cling to Christ, always,” I’d say! Watch “Sexual Secrets, Shame, and Guilt” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moLzQfPZiLc&t=14s)
In 1966, at the age of four, I was molested by my Uncle. I honestly did not remember this until August of ’95, twenty-nine years later. This particular memory was triggered immediately after Sandy and I visited a Bishop friend of ours in Atlanta, Georgia. We attended his Church service that Sunday and his message happened to address sexual sins ”” abuse and recovery. My heart glowed happiness and hope as hundreds of souls responded to the altar call for forgiveness and healing. Sandy and I extended our farewells and hit I-75 South. About an hour out of Atlanta, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered everything ”” the sights, the sounds, the smell, the taste, the feelings, the manipulation.
As I drove, I began to tremble as I fought back the tears. Sandy saw my sudden change and pleaded with me to tell her what just happened. I couldn’t tell her because in those exact moments, immense shame, guilt, and fear overtook me and began to occupy a place in my soul. I panicked as denial and anger and fear and confusion flooded my thoughts. My mind raced at the memory of it all. As I tried to process the shock of it all, I remember feeling alone. I also remember whispering to God, under my breath, “This is going to the grave with me.”
I didn’t tell Sandy. I didn’t tell anyone. I carried this secret alone, and for the next 3 ½ years I didn’t know what to do. I prayed and sought God for healing and answers. I wrestled with hate, bitterness, revenge, and forgiveness. Sometime later, I met a man through a mutual friend. I felt strongly that the Spirit of God was telling me to confide in this man. I did. Up to this point, I hadn’t told anyone. He listened intently, said a few things, and we prayed. I never saw this man again, but that confession and exposure opened me up to godly healing and restoration.
A few months later my baby sister, Mona, had passed. Me, Sandy and the girls traveled to Kansas City for her funeral. I sensed strongly that God was moving. We landed in KC late at night and we shuttled to the rental car center. On my military budget, I had reserved a compact car. With a family of five, two car seats, and all our luggage, my challenge was to make it all fit in this small car. Challenge accepted! It was gonna happen. (Lol!) I was 98% packed up when I noticed a suspicious couple eye-ballin’ us. My defenses went up.
They approached and said, “We noticed you have a large family and a small car. We just rented the only van on the lot. We’d like to switch vehicles with you and pay for everything.” I immediately knew they were Christians, but I teased them anyway. I asked, “You guys are Christians, aren’t you?” They said yes. I said, “You Christians are always so nosy! Always in other people’s business!” Their faces fell to the pavement. I laughed and said, “Just kidding! Just kidding! We’re Christians too!” We all laughed and I explained to them that I was an active duty Marine, stationed in Okinawa, and here for my sister’s funeral. This guy was a Marine also. We went back to the car rental counter. He told the attendant to switch vehicles and to put everything on his credit card. He also told the worker, “If there are any additional charges, charge them to me. All I want for this man, when he returns this vehicle, is to drop off the key.” (I often get a little choked up whenever I recount this. Talk about your “good Samaritan.”)
Now, this van proved to be highly instrumental in everything that God was working out. As the house would fill with family and visitors, bringing their condolences and food, I would go out into that van, crank up that a/c, climb in the back passenger area, fold the back bench seat down as a table, spend time with the Lord, and pray and prepare for Mona’s funeral. I happened to be in the van when there was a rap on the window. It was my sister, Bella. She said, “Oh, you’re out here. Everyone thought you went for a walk.” Then she said, “Uncle is here.” My heart dropped as I realized God said, “Nick, it’s time.” I was rattled and my mind raced for scenarios, strategies, words. Right then, God showed me a vision. I saw myself going in, saying hi to everyone, and then saying that I’m going for a walk, and Uncle would chime, “Hey Dominic, I’ll go with you.”
Although uncertain, nervous, and fearful, I left the van and proceeded in faith. And sure enough, after I greeted everyone and said I’m going for a walk, right on cue, Uncle said he’d come with me. (A little stunned, I was.) We walked for about fifteen minutes in small banter. I was hemming-and-hawing about actually confronting Uncle with what he did thirty-three years ago. I finally just stopped. This is what I said:
Me: Uncle, I remember what you did to me when I was a kid.
Uncle: (face full of shock and fear.)
Me: Uncle, I’m not here to fight you, blast you, or expose you to the family. I’m here to say I forgive you.
Uncle: (Right there on the sidewalk, cars passing by, he was overcome with emotion. Uncle began to wail and cry and heave for the next five minutes as he processed everything.)
Me: I forgive you, Uncle. We’re cool.
Uncle: Dominic, you don’t really understand. Back in ’95 (about the same time I remembered what Uncle did to me), I found out that my oldest son had been molested by my neighbor. When I found out, I was enraged! I grabbed my car keys and headed for the door because I knew where this guy lived. But, as I reached the door, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “You hypocrite! You did the same thing to your nephew!” Dominic! Dominic! I froze! And I’ve been stuck since then! I am so sorry! I am so sorry!
Me: (crying) I forgive you, Uncle. (We hugged.)
Uncle: (somewhat spent, he began gathering and composing himself) Thank you, Dominic. (sniff) I know what I need to do to begin healing in my son and in my family. I need to forgive.
People, I promise you. I can’t make this stuff up. Only God can orchestrate this level of humility, healing, and restoration. I carried so much anger, shame, and bitterness for those last few years. But in an instant, all that pain was gone! And love, peace, and freedom replaced that dark hole that I carried. Up to that point, I honestly didn’t know if I could forgive Uncle, because of the level of pain and shame I carried. I remember a quote, “Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison, but expecting the other person to die.” How illuminating!
The Bible says:
Eph 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. (vs.32) Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
1Pe 3:8-9 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. (vs.9) Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
Col 3:12-13 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (vs.13) Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Rom 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
As I’ve struggled to walk in obedience, fear, and love towards God, I’ve experienced countless moments of indescribable joy, intense apprehension, and precious healing and transformation. These cringy moments are often preceded with, “Nick, it’s time.” It feels so risky, and it often doesn’t make any sense to my natural mind, but with Christ, the reward always outweighs the risk. Hear the voice of the Lord saying, “Saints, it’s time.”
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“Fix Bayonets” & “Breaking the Ice”
“Fix bayonets!” (Role-playing: Christians vs. Critics) We train Christians to use the Word of God to counter and respond to any issue Christians may face today. Initially, these drills are very uncomfortable, but they force us to render biblical responses. (Read “Oh, I see. You’re a hypocrite.”)
Role-playing and learning how to break the ice with strangers, and how to effectively steer a conversation toward the god-stuff. “Where do I know you from? Are you from Texas? Did I loan you some money? Lol! Seriously though, where did you go to Church in Texas?” (Bam! Door wide open!) These drills produce much Kingdom fruit in their lives “For the Lamb of God!” Watch “How to Share the Gospel” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtaO8IYmDHQ&t=14s)
10-minute sermons
Seth taking the “sermonette challenge.” I invited him to teach a 10 minute sermon on the love of God. Knocked it out of the park! Watch “On a scale of 1-10, what kind of Christian are you?” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oFn98CJCEY&t=5s)
I invited Brandon to take the same challenge. This young man has come such a long way in a short time. Very humbling message. (Read “Stolen Valor”)
making disciples one at a time
This is the fruit of two months of rebuilding. When Sandy and I got back to Okinawa in mid-August, one deployed unit just departed and a new deployed unit just arrived. Sheep were scattered. But this isn’t new to us. We’re accustomed, willing, and gifted to rebuild. And God has brought the increase. It’s a privilege to serve Christ in Schwab/Henoko! To God be all the glory! Watch “LAPUPP! Why the Bible is different from all other religious writings!” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kul6IiaXiNs&t=708s)
zebulun fam!
Our monthly Cook-In! Sandy made Chicken-Cajun-Pasta! “Dad-gum-bom-diggity, it was!” (Read “Maybe, if they had a Pastor…”)
partner with us in the lord’s works
Beloved, if you’ve benefitted from anything we’ve said or done in ministry, we humbly invite you to sow back into these works. You know this to be true – Giving back is a natural response to having received something. Make a Donation (https://cinami.org/missionary/guerra-nick-sandy/)
in closing…
Sandy is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. Christ has united us deeply in so many ways. Sandy makes me happy, confident, secure, and completely satisfied. (Shabbah! Lol!) On October 3rd, we celebrated our thirty-six year anniversary and still going, growing, and glowing in love! Watch our 70’s Afro/Funk tribute to “The Closer I Get to You” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWAVSSWgKBg)
Beloved, we love you all and we pray for you often. We thank you greatly for your prayers of encouragement, protection, and blessing!
God had been rebuilding these ministries! So many new, eager faces! This current deployed unit is unlike all others. These men and women came en masse eager to learn, to serve, and to build the Kingdom of God! They are like sponges, soaking up all the Bible studies, and they are fishers of men! I am so proud of them as daily they seek and labor to build His Kingdom.
You can help. Please consider supporting these ministries and works with your monetary gifts and contributions. Your support literally enables us to make disciples continuously and effectively. Sandy and I decided long ago to lay our lives down here in Japan to make disciples. And each week is filled with Kingdom fruit! Financial offerings can be made online through Christians In Action (https://cinami.org/missionary/guerra-nick-sandy/). Or, you can mail contributions to the address listed below.
I declare that you have become His poetry, a re-created person that will fulfill the destiny He has given you, for you are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before you were born, God planned in advance your destiny and the good works you would do to fulfill it! (Eph 2:10 TPT)
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In His grace!
Nick & Sandy, Bond-servants of Christ
Contributions can be sent to:
Dominic Guerra (Acct# 426)
c/o Christians In Action, Missions International
1300 E. Shaw Ave., Suite 135
Fresno, CA 93710-7904
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— OUR MISSION —
Gather Sheep & Convert Goats!
Catch, Clean, & Release!